warming up

sitting on the deck with the sun shining at my back. i love the way the sun can really warm you up. in our lives we all have winters and we need that spring and summer to come. there's the time where we've been cold for awhile and kept inside with the curtains drawn and we just need that sun. i used to view the sun alot differently than i do now. for me it was a constant religious comparison of looking and wanting someone, that spiritual being to warm me up. it's not any more. i'm not where i was a few years ago in mind set, lifestyle, spiritual beliefs or location. i'm not there. like us being in AB right now there is a tentitive plan that we will go back to BC. we think. we hope. well we hope for now. if you would've asked me 5 years ago what my hopes would be today they would sound a lot different. i had a way i thought my family would look and i thought i knew who the people in our lives would be. turns out i was probably a good solid 68% wrong. i'm not saying that out of dissappointment at all. we can always have hopes for the future but realistically we need to keep our minds open that our hopes today may not be my hopes tomorrow. these days my hopes are a lot more simple. it's 10am sunday morning and i'm having my favorite kind of "church" with my favorite people. Kenzie is napping upstairs, Wyatt is playing around the yard and Chico is sitting next to me in the sun. this is the goodness of life. the husband gets off work early today and we get to chill out and putz around the yard and go to the park. i love days like today where i've felt cold for awhile and i can feel myself warming up. sleep helps with that too. these last few days (minus last night) Kenzie has only been getting up twice and sleeping from 8-7. it's been pretty amazing. i've had time for me at night and more sleep. ah sleep. if you don't have enough sleep nothing looks clearly, everything is cold, toddlers are more likely to push you over the edge and you could really just rip everyones heads off.

my thoughts aren't done but I'm in need to play the role of bicycle repairman.

xoxo KK