so when we first found out we were moving i started off by doing everything in my power to spend as much time with people that I could. trying to work with everyones schedules and then the wild card of having kids that seems to constantly change my plans (i'm hoping this will change). i would say that at the beginning of only having a month left i started off strong. i was seeing anywhere from 1-3 people who i LOVE a day. squeezing it all in. just making sure i could take every moment. half of those moments i felt like i was in a daze or asleep...in sort of a complete denial that it was happening and we were actually going. so as the days went on and the weeks less and less plans were made. i was busy with packing and kids and solo parenting for a month and the friends were busy with their lives too. the closer the move date came the harder it was to make a plan. what were we going to do? declare our last affections & laugh together. i know i'm seeming pretty dramatic but i didn't know what to do. it just couldn't be "normal" you can only talk & think about leaving these people you love so much before you just don't want to do it anymore. most days it was easiest to just pretend i was packing my house up for fun (fun right i know. lol) or that we were moving in town. possibly in this alternate universe i was living in i could move and take all my friends with my like a Polly Pocket or Phil would just have this amazing job in Kelowna and we'd catch a break.
three days before we moved a few friends had planned a big birthday dinner / party that celebrated a few of our march birthdays and would be sort of like a final goodbye from us to a few of them. 1 hr before the dinner started i called and cancelled. that's right. cancelled on my own birthday dinner and goodbyes. i couldn't do it. sure then i blamed it on everything i could. the kids were fussy (which they were), phil & i were exhausted (which we were) etc etc. but really i didn't want to sit in a room with a few of my favorite people knowing i was leaving them so soon. just couldn't do it. there was no more energy left in me to pretend that this would be ok & easy.
being away from my closest friends changed the dynamic of a friendship so much. the closest thing we get to a normal casual hang out is random back and forth texting. the phone thing is still awkward because we are not phone people. it's either texting or face to face. it's not feeling like enough lately. i don't want to be that annoying pop up on your phone that's "hi there how are you?...blah blah blah" yes this is an adjustment. we've made this commitment to our family to help us get ahead and to all be together. sure we said 3-5years but it could be 1year to the possibility of never moving back.
i know i will make new friends and i've already started that but nothing will replace these friends who've been my family, my confidants and have absolutely walked with my through my highest and lowest points. no explainations are ever needed for laughter or tears. singing loudly along to whatever music, getting tattoos together, painting, road trips, countless coffee dates, breakfast dates, bottles of wine. you've seen me through being single, engaged, married, pregnant & a momma. we've grieved together and looked for new hearts. we've walked on spiritual journeys together and still question what it's all about. there is nothing like a good friend. good friends can recover from a good blow and i've had them with all my friendships at one time or another. those are the ones worth fighting for.
so here we are revising what it looks like to be best friends & distance wont change that (fingers crossed)
xo KK
ps. I'm not into video chat so you'll just have to remember what i look like <3
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