so i don't know where we turned this corner or what happened, but somehow i have a 2 year old tyrant running my household and it's bringing out the worst in me. there is screaming, headbanging, fit throwing, crying and just plain loosing your mind at ever corner. don't get me wrong. of course i love my little man and he can be sweet, smart, creative, caring and so much fun. but there is definitley a whole lot of dr.jekyll & mr. hyde these days. it's 0-100 in 2 seconds. there's no reasoning, no rationalizing, no major clue as to what went wrong. the tantrums can go on for hours and i'm not gonna lie it pushes a momma over the edge, across the bridge and down the lane.
ah just take a step back
count to 10
take deep breaths
well guess what this way harder than labor. i mean sure people tell you that there will be sleepless nights and picky eaters, teething etc etc. but this is a whole new level.
so people out there contemplating on having a child don't forget how ugly the toddler stage can be too. it wont last forever but right now 5 minutes is long enough. i dream of a day where we can balance things out a bit, step away from being pushed over the edge and down the lane. this is by far the most challenged i've ever been. he got his stubborness and impatience from me. i'm staring the toddler unrationalized version of me in the face on a daily basis and man oh man.
here's hoping no one looses it in the next 5 minutes
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
sleepless on 21st ave
clearly the worst/best form of torture is being sleep deprived. oh and it could be listening to really bad music as well. or the nightmare where you think you've shown up somewhere naked and you really have and you can't leave you're stuck there with everyone you've admired, crushed on, been friends or enemies with and you don't have any clothes on.
in our house when it comes to teething babies and sleep it's like going to a greyhound race. there you are running along and that bunny is dangling right in front of your face pretty much making you crazy. so far we haven't been the chosen ones where teething is "no big deal" for our kids or all of a sudden surprise there's a tooth. nope not us. so this is how bed time goes....i'm running along chasing that bunny. i almost catch it AKA fall asleep and it's pulled away. so really the crying begins. or the rabbit is in my mouth. i get the slightest taste of the sweet sweet sleep. you know that just settling in falling asleep thing. yup and then ripped away from me. W wasn't a great sleeper till just before he was 1. basically when he was running around everywhere all day long...then he would crash. it's seems as though his little sister is following in the same footsteps. don't get me wrong they do have their better days. ANYWAYS. thanks to top tooth #2 it's been too many nights in a row of that sweet sleep being ripped away from me. I cannot survive day after day of 2-3hrs of sleep a night. the basics are breaking down. you know. the talking, walking & making sense etc.
on the same note right now they are being amazing. they both ate all their breakfast in record times, they're playing together, watching the backyardigans and no one is crying or screaming.
so off quickly i will go to make a cup of coffee and enjoy this moment before anything changes.
xoxo KK
in our house when it comes to teething babies and sleep it's like going to a greyhound race. there you are running along and that bunny is dangling right in front of your face pretty much making you crazy. so far we haven't been the chosen ones where teething is "no big deal" for our kids or all of a sudden surprise there's a tooth. nope not us. so this is how bed time goes....i'm running along chasing that bunny. i almost catch it AKA fall asleep and it's pulled away. so really the crying begins. or the rabbit is in my mouth. i get the slightest taste of the sweet sweet sleep. you know that just settling in falling asleep thing. yup and then ripped away from me. W wasn't a great sleeper till just before he was 1. basically when he was running around everywhere all day long...then he would crash. it's seems as though his little sister is following in the same footsteps. don't get me wrong they do have their better days. ANYWAYS. thanks to top tooth #2 it's been too many nights in a row of that sweet sleep being ripped away from me. I cannot survive day after day of 2-3hrs of sleep a night. the basics are breaking down. you know. the talking, walking & making sense etc.
on the same note right now they are being amazing. they both ate all their breakfast in record times, they're playing together, watching the backyardigans and no one is crying or screaming.
so off quickly i will go to make a cup of coffee and enjoy this moment before anything changes.
xoxo KK
Thursday, June 14, 2012
What my dreams are made of:
-Peeing alone
-8hrs of straight uninterrupted sleep
-Eating something I cook while it's still warm
-Eating sitting down
-Days without floating pollen
-A cooking fairy
-A laundry fairy
-A house cleaning fairy
-A grocery shopping fairy
-A manicurist on hand since my polish lasts a day
-A skinnier body double
-A mute button
Well a girl can dream
-8hrs of straight uninterrupted sleep
-Eating something I cook while it's still warm
-Eating sitting down
-Days without floating pollen
-A cooking fairy
-A laundry fairy
-A house cleaning fairy
-A grocery shopping fairy
-A manicurist on hand since my polish lasts a day
-A skinnier body double
-A mute button
Well a girl can dream
Monday, May 21, 2012
Remembering to shop my closet...the battle of KK vs. Shorts con't.
It's that time of year again...you know the one where you need to start baring those crazy white legs to the world. And as we can't walk around naked what the heck are we gonna put on them. Having kids changes ones style massively. I mean there's no excuse for the endless days of sweats but there is a time when you need to pull it together a bit.
As summer approaches I've been in a straight up anxiety attack trying to find clothes I like & that fit me. The body does a lot of changing. Almost 30 and two kids...time to work on a few things. I'll save that for another day. Anywho! If I can at all cost I will avoid trying to shop for pants/shorts etc. today after shopping and successfully finding a few new tank tops, a couple of shorter summer dresses and an awesome Maxi dress I was happy bit still had lost a part of the war. No shorts. So after everyone FINALLY fell asleep for a nap it clicked that I had a bag of old summer clothes in the basement. OH YES! 4 pairs of shorts that fit amazingly & a bunch more tops. All in all highly successful!
As summer approaches I've been in a straight up anxiety attack trying to find clothes I like & that fit me. The body does a lot of changing. Almost 30 and two kids...time to work on a few things. I'll save that for another day. Anywho! If I can at all cost I will avoid trying to shop for pants/shorts etc. today after shopping and successfully finding a few new tank tops, a couple of shorter summer dresses and an awesome Maxi dress I was happy bit still had lost a part of the war. No shorts. So after everyone FINALLY fell asleep for a nap it clicked that I had a bag of old summer clothes in the basement. OH YES! 4 pairs of shorts that fit amazingly & a bunch more tops. All in all highly successful!
Monday, May 14, 2012
oh man. i don't even know how to change a diaper
ok so i've started writting 4 different times this morning and they've all turned out to be complain-fests so i'm choosing not to publish any of them. sure there will always be crap hitting the fan in one form or another but in those times where seriously all i can do is think of the things we're lacking or what's gone wrong in the day, it's time to push myself to change my thinking. there is so much good. i can't let it just all pass by and not be noticed because of the few pieces of crap that has hit the fan.
growing up i was the girl that never wanted to babysit. i took the babysitting course because my mom said it would be a good idea and really when you're 12 you just do whatever your parents make you do. haha. so after the babysitting course i avoided babysitting like the plague. but we went to a church at the time and of course there were families with kids that needed a babysitter. i would always avoid all child related situations. i didn't want really any reason to have to hang out with little kids. one day a couple asked my mom (not me) if i could babysit for them and of course because my mom thought it was a good idea there i landed up babysitting. see well that right there. those two kids who were pretty well behaved and easy to entertain and get along with sealed the deal. i did not want to have kids. that was it. cut and dry. plain and simple. when i was at bible college there was a missions trip we could choose to go on for a month after school was out. i chose India. i love to travel and india was somewhere i always have wanted to and still want to go to. India got cancelled and my destination was changed to Hungary. the objective of the trip was to primarily work with children. OY! let me say it again for you, OY! so there i was. i loved those kids and somehow on that trip was a kid magnet. Still no wanting of the offspring. nope not me. getting married my husband knew i didn't want to have kids. i said sure who knows maybe one day but really i don't want them and don't think it's for me. i mean there are those people that just have that 'i'm a mom gene'. i didn't find myself to be one of those people. so we got married and there weren't any offspring plans. i was really lucky in making these choices and feeling this way about not wanting to be a mom that no one bugged me about it. no one was pressuring asking when the time would come or saying how nice it would be to have grand-babies etc etc. pretty much they let me be. it was about just before being married for a year a light switch went on in me. i wanted to have kids. two exactly. no more and no less and i would like to be done having them before i turned 30. there it was plain and simple. still no huge desire to be a mom or any clue how to do anything with babies/children (when wyatt was born i didn't know how to change a diaper and phil had to teach me how). after having a miscarriage May 2009 we found out we were pregnant with Wyatt July 1 2009 & we found out MacKenzie was on her way Jan 4 2011. Here we are, two kids and I'm 29. every day motherhood scares the shit out of me but it is beyond my greatest joy. it is the toughest and the most rewarding i've ever been a part of. i pray they take the best of me and leave the rest behind. i pray they know they are loved and that they are capable of accomplishing everything they want to. my life is totally different than i ever thought it would be and i wouldn't change a thing. nope not a thing. thanks for choosing me as your mama my little monkeys.
xo KK
growing up i was the girl that never wanted to babysit. i took the babysitting course because my mom said it would be a good idea and really when you're 12 you just do whatever your parents make you do. haha. so after the babysitting course i avoided babysitting like the plague. but we went to a church at the time and of course there were families with kids that needed a babysitter. i would always avoid all child related situations. i didn't want really any reason to have to hang out with little kids. one day a couple asked my mom (not me) if i could babysit for them and of course because my mom thought it was a good idea there i landed up babysitting. see well that right there. those two kids who were pretty well behaved and easy to entertain and get along with sealed the deal. i did not want to have kids. that was it. cut and dry. plain and simple. when i was at bible college there was a missions trip we could choose to go on for a month after school was out. i chose India. i love to travel and india was somewhere i always have wanted to and still want to go to. India got cancelled and my destination was changed to Hungary. the objective of the trip was to primarily work with children. OY! let me say it again for you, OY! so there i was. i loved those kids and somehow on that trip was a kid magnet. Still no wanting of the offspring. nope not me. getting married my husband knew i didn't want to have kids. i said sure who knows maybe one day but really i don't want them and don't think it's for me. i mean there are those people that just have that 'i'm a mom gene'. i didn't find myself to be one of those people. so we got married and there weren't any offspring plans. i was really lucky in making these choices and feeling this way about not wanting to be a mom that no one bugged me about it. no one was pressuring asking when the time would come or saying how nice it would be to have grand-babies etc etc. pretty much they let me be. it was about just before being married for a year a light switch went on in me. i wanted to have kids. two exactly. no more and no less and i would like to be done having them before i turned 30. there it was plain and simple. still no huge desire to be a mom or any clue how to do anything with babies/children (when wyatt was born i didn't know how to change a diaper and phil had to teach me how). after having a miscarriage May 2009 we found out we were pregnant with Wyatt July 1 2009 & we found out MacKenzie was on her way Jan 4 2011. Here we are, two kids and I'm 29. every day motherhood scares the shit out of me but it is beyond my greatest joy. it is the toughest and the most rewarding i've ever been a part of. i pray they take the best of me and leave the rest behind. i pray they know they are loved and that they are capable of accomplishing everything they want to. my life is totally different than i ever thought it would be and i wouldn't change a thing. nope not a thing. thanks for choosing me as your mama my little monkeys.
xo KK
Sunday, April 29, 2012
warming up
sitting on the deck with the sun shining at my back. i love the way the sun can really warm you up. in our lives we all have winters and we need that spring and summer to come. there's the time where we've been cold for awhile and kept inside with the curtains drawn and we just need that sun. i used to view the sun alot differently than i do now. for me it was a constant religious comparison of looking and wanting someone, that spiritual being to warm me up. it's not any more. i'm not where i was a few years ago in mind set, lifestyle, spiritual beliefs or location. i'm not there. like us being in AB right now there is a tentitive plan that we will go back to BC. we think. we hope. well we hope for now. if you would've asked me 5 years ago what my hopes would be today they would sound a lot different. i had a way i thought my family would look and i thought i knew who the people in our lives would be. turns out i was probably a good solid 68% wrong. i'm not saying that out of dissappointment at all. we can always have hopes for the future but realistically we need to keep our minds open that our hopes today may not be my hopes tomorrow. these days my hopes are a lot more simple. it's 10am sunday morning and i'm having my favorite kind of "church" with my favorite people. Kenzie is napping upstairs, Wyatt is playing around the yard and Chico is sitting next to me in the sun. this is the goodness of life. the husband gets off work early today and we get to chill out and putz around the yard and go to the park. i love days like today where i've felt cold for awhile and i can feel myself warming up. sleep helps with that too. these last few days (minus last night) Kenzie has only been getting up twice and sleeping from 8-7. it's been pretty amazing. i've had time for me at night and more sleep. ah sleep. if you don't have enough sleep nothing looks clearly, everything is cold, toddlers are more likely to push you over the edge and you could really just rip everyones heads off.
my thoughts aren't done but I'm in need to play the role of bicycle repairman.
xoxo KK
my thoughts aren't done but I'm in need to play the role of bicycle repairman.
xoxo KK
Thursday, April 26, 2012
children eating...or the lack thereof
lets start with the bebe. so as we were approaching her being 6 months i was getting more and more excited about the time coming ahead of her trying new foods. cereal (pablum), some fruits & veggies. as i've been breastfeeding her exclusively i was really stoked and possibly getting a little feeding relief from my growing monkey. feeding someone every 2-3 hrs will wear ya down. yup we did the pumping and trying to get her to drink from a bottle but just like her brother nope nope no go on the bottle. we did this and that and a million + 1 suggestions that books, dr & people had for us. really because it would be nice to go to a movie or out for dinner with a friend...or lets face it, some days just be away for more than 2hrs round trip. so yes i was getting excited for food. when W was about 5 months we started him on cereal with a little fruit & veg and he LOVED it. it was so great. such an awesome adventure seeing this little one gobble something up that wasn't me. lol. so yup in my naievity i thought wow these two will be on the same course for this as they've been so similar in many other ways. when it comes to liking cereal or really ANY babyfood so far they are totally different. he loved it and she hates it. i've tried every brand of cereal, mixing it with different things and just a plain old no way mom. her lips are pushed together as tightly as they can go. it is locked RIGHT UP.
so lets move to W. basically they are at the same spot. i come up with ideas of things for them to eat/try, i budget, i buy, i prepare and i get shut down. can't get either one of them to eat. W could easily only eat cherrios, apples jacks, crackers (wheat thins, veggie thins, triscuits), multigrain tostidos, fruit snacks, granola bars (sometimes), craisins, raisins, pretzles, fries, cheeseburgers, chicken strips, peach cups & peanut butter (in a spoon or on some bread). i keep trying other things to see if he'll eat them. we cook together. i give him what we're having, i'll let him pick things off my plate and nothing changes the situation that he is not interested.
so this is where the eating of lack thereof comes in. as a mom it's so frustrating to try and figure these things out. not wanting to have a picky picky kid. i want a mellow one that loves to eat and sleep. HA! well my little action packed adventurers keep me on my toes.
on this occasion if you've got suggestions i'm open to them. especially on the bebe food front as i really want her to try something! anything! as for the toddler...well he's a toddler and to know them is to love them...and learn to be ok with the craziness and rejection a little more every day.
xoxo KK
ps. i love my kids
so lets move to W. basically they are at the same spot. i come up with ideas of things for them to eat/try, i budget, i buy, i prepare and i get shut down. can't get either one of them to eat. W could easily only eat cherrios, apples jacks, crackers (wheat thins, veggie thins, triscuits), multigrain tostidos, fruit snacks, granola bars (sometimes), craisins, raisins, pretzles, fries, cheeseburgers, chicken strips, peach cups & peanut butter (in a spoon or on some bread). i keep trying other things to see if he'll eat them. we cook together. i give him what we're having, i'll let him pick things off my plate and nothing changes the situation that he is not interested.
so this is where the eating of lack thereof comes in. as a mom it's so frustrating to try and figure these things out. not wanting to have a picky picky kid. i want a mellow one that loves to eat and sleep. HA! well my little action packed adventurers keep me on my toes.
on this occasion if you've got suggestions i'm open to them. especially on the bebe food front as i really want her to try something! anything! as for the toddler...well he's a toddler and to know them is to love them...and learn to be ok with the craziness and rejection a little more every day.
xoxo KK
ps. i love my kids
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