Day 1

I'm working on  two things for the same result. 1) writing more 2) a work out plan. Both of these things are being done with the goal of prolonging my life. Ok well maybe saying prolonging my life isn't totally correct like I hope it can be, but I'm  just trying to be a little less stressed out here. HA. I may need to start dropping and giving 20 every hour to work up my heart rate and chill the F out. I don't know why I'm such a 'live-wire' lately but I am. And writing. It's nice to get it out there. This isn't my tell all story...I save that for my friends ears and paper.

Anyways I'm saying this to say do something for you. Inner focus is important. I write these things as more of a letter to myself. Hey you, yes you Katie Knorr READ THIS! I'm working on sticking to a plan. Seriously...how long does it take for something to stick.

This morning I started the 30 day Shred with Jillian Micheals again. Yes i've started this before. Anyways all excuses aside there I was in the living room doing jumping jacks etc with two kids hanging on. It started out while Kenzie was napping but she woke up so I ran upstairs as quick as I could trying to keep my heart rate up and I was determined that even if I had to walk away from the video or change something cause I couldn't do it yet or whatever I would stick through for the whole work out. We did it! I had kids hanging here, there and everywhere. It was really hilarious. Someone should do a workout video for stay at home moms with the kids in the video. Not kids who will just sit on the side but real ones who will scream and cry and hang themselves on you while you take 30 minutes to try and work out. HAHA. I didn't have weights so I was using big bean cans. Really it's hilarious thinking back about it. But as I sit here typing I'm breathing a little deeper, my muscles are slightly stinging and I feel accomplished and a tiny bit ready to take it on again tomorrow.

Day 1 of the husband being gone and both kids boycotted their afternoon nap. Needless to say it's a super tired house. AND THIS MOM IS OUT OF WINE! Really that shouldn't be allowed to happen but it has. Guess I'll be teaing it up. lol

Enough. You may hear from me tomorrow or the day after or who knows.

xo KK

the end of the boobie-milk train

as setting out with having both kids i really wanted to breastfeed them. i knew that like with anythng there was a possibility that it might not work out the way i wanted but with this i did. we hit a few speed bumps with both kids, mastitous (breast infection), both of them refusing to drink from a bottle (even breastmilk) and the occasional biting phase here and there, but generally it's worked out pretty great.

with knowing absolutely that after baby Mac was born that i was done having babies, i know this is the end of this part of motherhood for me. with W he was breastfed until almost a year and at that point i was already pregnant with Mac and way too exhausted to go on. That and i was done. i had this confidence and peace knowing that this part of our journey was over. i was proud knowing how far we made it with this and how much it had drawn us together and in my mind and heart we stopped at the perfect time. for baby Mac she is now over 13 months and I have that same peace and confidence in knowing we are done this part of our journey too. she doesn't want it or need it from me any more. We've been slowly weaning off for the last 2 months and last night was the last time. More than being bfed she wanted to sit on my lap, drink from a cup and snuggle before bed.

It's so bittersweet. it was amazing to have those moments and that experience together and i feel so blessed. I am also so proud of my kids that when we all knew it was the right time together we slowly stopped together. this time has been different with Mac than with W. I haven't had the crazy milk over production and pain. our bodies knew and we stopped together. and now it's on to the next part of our bond and child-parent journey together.

*side note.
i just want to quickly say a few things about the acceptance of people whether they choose to bfeed or not. honestly this second time around i felt more scrutiny from people that are HC bfeeders than those that were choosing formula. I say you do what you want with what you have and you know best what you want to do, need to do and when you're done. If you want / need to formula feed from day 1 all the power to you & if you want to bfeed till they're (insert persons age of choice here ;)) then all the power to you as well. i just think as moms we need to be kinder on eachother about these types of things. mothering is by far the hardest thing i have ever done and it makes it alot easier having support instead of skepticism around.

OK ok. that's where it's at today.

I'm off to finish my coffee with my hubby and son nap and my lil lady sings away in her crib. it's a good moment <3 p="p">