as setting out with having both kids i really wanted to breastfeed them. i knew that like with anythng there was a possibility that it might not work out the way i wanted but with this i did. we hit a few speed bumps with both kids, mastitous (breast infection), both of them refusing to drink from a bottle (even breastmilk) and the occasional biting phase here and there, but generally it's worked out pretty great.
with knowing absolutely that after baby Mac was born that i was done having babies, i know this is the end of this part of motherhood for me. with W he was breastfed until almost a year and at that point i was already pregnant with Mac and way too exhausted to go on. That and i was done. i had this confidence and peace knowing that this part of our journey was over. i was proud knowing how far we made it with this and how much it had drawn us together and in my mind and heart we stopped at the perfect time. for baby Mac she is now over 13 months and I have that same peace and confidence in knowing we are done this part of our journey too. she doesn't want it or need it from me any more. We've been slowly weaning off for the last 2 months and last night was the last time. More than being bfed she wanted to sit on my lap, drink from a cup and snuggle before bed.
It's so bittersweet. it was amazing to have those moments and that experience together and i feel so blessed. I am also so proud of my kids that when we all knew it was the right time together we slowly stopped together. this time has been different with Mac than with W. I haven't had the crazy milk over production and pain. our bodies knew and we stopped together. and now it's on to the next part of our bond and child-parent journey together.
*side note.
i just want to quickly say a few things about the acceptance of people whether they choose to bfeed or not. honestly this second time around i felt more scrutiny from people that are HC bfeeders than those that were choosing formula. I say you do what you want with what you have and you know best what you want to do, need to do and when you're done. If you want / need to formula feed from day 1 all the power to you & if you want to bfeed till they're (insert persons age of choice here ;)) then all the power to you as well. i just think as moms we need to be kinder on eachother about these types of things. mothering is by far the hardest thing i have ever done and it makes it alot easier having support instead of skepticism around.
OK ok. that's where it's at today.
I'm off to finish my coffee with my hubby and son nap and my lil lady sings away in her crib. it's a good moment <3 p="p">
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
29 things to do while I'm still 29. 6 months to get these done
1. Take a cooking class
2. Read The Chronicles of Narnia
3. Take out my sewing machine and at least learn how to set the tension
4. Go to Airdrie to see my PS
5. Get more sleep
6. Shower more
7. Get better at asking for help
8. Sing to my kids more
9. Listen more
10. Let go of a few people I've been working on letting go of for awhile
11. Take my vitamins
12. Try a new wine a month
13. Plan my vegas bday
14. Do at least 10 things I've pinned on Pinterest
15. Breathe more
16. Actually make it through Jillian Micheals 30 Day Shred
17. Be more concious of how I speak to my children
18. Get my husband 'fixed'. You know. Momma is done ever being pregnant again
19. Write letters
20. Try new foods
21. Do a cleanse
22. Be done breastfeeding
24. Take better care of my feet
25. Talk to my dad on the phone more
26. Have a date with my grandma
27. Be more consistant in friendships
28. Show my husband I love him more
29. Worry less about what people think of me
2. Read The Chronicles of Narnia
3. Take out my sewing machine and at least learn how to set the tension
4. Go to Airdrie to see my PS
5. Get more sleep
6. Shower more
7. Get better at asking for help
8. Sing to my kids more
9. Listen more
10. Let go of a few people I've been working on letting go of for awhile
11. Take my vitamins
12. Try a new wine a month
13. Plan my vegas bday
14. Do at least 10 things I've pinned on Pinterest
15. Breathe more
16. Actually make it through Jillian Micheals 30 Day Shred
17. Be more concious of how I speak to my children
18. Get my husband 'fixed'. You know. Momma is done ever being pregnant again
19. Write letters
20. Try new foods
21. Do a cleanse
22. Be done breastfeeding
24. Take better care of my feet
25. Talk to my dad on the phone more
26. Have a date with my grandma
27. Be more consistant in friendships
28. Show my husband I love him more
29. Worry less about what people think of me
Monday, August 13, 2012
babes & success!
ok so here's the thing about potty training. basically as soon as your child can walk people are already asking "so is he/she potty trained yet?" i don't know why but somehow as a mother it feels like the biggest defeat to answer no. in all the times i was asked i knew W wasn't ready yet, but still hearing that question never made it easier. it's like "oh so your child wont eat fruits or vegetables?" i know i know. i'm reading way to much into it. but really here i am entrusted with this humanbeing and he's still wearing a diaper? he wont eat fruits, veggies or even meat much? he throws fits and bangs his head on anything in sight? lol. oh yes, as a mom i'm trying a swear. haha.
anyways i wanted to post some positives here. while we were away on our crazy whirlwind 6 days in BC i crossed paths with a lady who runs a daycare and basically gave me a 'how to potty train'. it was bizarre to say the least. we were strangers and within 2 minutes were talking about essentially doing that potty dance. ha. i was inspired. here i was camping and BLAMO! here was my how to on potty training. so it's day 6 and we're batting about a 70% toilet to 30% accidents. i'm pretty excited about that! i'm proud of my little man. I know that we will continue to have to work on this for a long time and most days it will take patience i need to find but we are getting somewhere! i'm so proud of him. looking back i know we started at the perfect time. we were both ready so we started.
also the child will now eat hamburgers, hotdogs, chicken and an assortment of fruits and vegetables as long as there's dip! i'll take it! No scurvey or rickets for us ;)
LITTLE RED:
ok so as some of you have read we thought MacKenzie was lactose intolerant and it turns out she is. as much as this is totally uncharted territory for us i'm really happy to know that this is what was happening and that we can work towards finding milk replacements / substitutes that she loves. Ah i love when things start making sense.
now on to the sleep. so i don't know what it was about being away but when we came home as exhausted and out of routine we were i decided this was a fresh start. time for this babe to sleep through the night. time to not get up every 2-4hrs for a feed. she's 10 months old (WHAT??? she's already 10 months old?) and she can do this. so for the last 5 days i've been letting her cry it out. after awhile i go in and cuddle her a bit and she'll go right back to sleep without a feed. it's so good. there was even a night she slept right through till 6! yes i am a proud momma. so it's been either 1 wake up or sleeping anywhere till 5:30-7am. ah it is delicious!
oh and i forgot to mention that wyatt now thinks it's a great idea to sleep in until 6:45/7!
of course there are hard moments and hard days but reflecting on the amazing things happening is so good.
anyways i wanted to post some positives here. while we were away on our crazy whirlwind 6 days in BC i crossed paths with a lady who runs a daycare and basically gave me a 'how to potty train'. it was bizarre to say the least. we were strangers and within 2 minutes were talking about essentially doing that potty dance. ha. i was inspired. here i was camping and BLAMO! here was my how to on potty training. so it's day 6 and we're batting about a 70% toilet to 30% accidents. i'm pretty excited about that! i'm proud of my little man. I know that we will continue to have to work on this for a long time and most days it will take patience i need to find but we are getting somewhere! i'm so proud of him. looking back i know we started at the perfect time. we were both ready so we started.
also the child will now eat hamburgers, hotdogs, chicken and an assortment of fruits and vegetables as long as there's dip! i'll take it! No scurvey or rickets for us ;)
LITTLE RED:
ok so as some of you have read we thought MacKenzie was lactose intolerant and it turns out she is. as much as this is totally uncharted territory for us i'm really happy to know that this is what was happening and that we can work towards finding milk replacements / substitutes that she loves. Ah i love when things start making sense.
now on to the sleep. so i don't know what it was about being away but when we came home as exhausted and out of routine we were i decided this was a fresh start. time for this babe to sleep through the night. time to not get up every 2-4hrs for a feed. she's 10 months old (WHAT??? she's already 10 months old?) and she can do this. so for the last 5 days i've been letting her cry it out. after awhile i go in and cuddle her a bit and she'll go right back to sleep without a feed. it's so good. there was even a night she slept right through till 6! yes i am a proud momma. so it's been either 1 wake up or sleeping anywhere till 5:30-7am. ah it is delicious!
oh and i forgot to mention that wyatt now thinks it's a great idea to sleep in until 6:45/7!
of course there are hard moments and hard days but reflecting on the amazing things happening is so good.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
2 year old tyrants (no one tells you about the toddler years)
so i don't know where we turned this corner or what happened, but somehow i have a 2 year old tyrant running my household and it's bringing out the worst in me. there is screaming, headbanging, fit throwing, crying and just plain loosing your mind at ever corner. don't get me wrong. of course i love my little man and he can be sweet, smart, creative, caring and so much fun. but there is definitley a whole lot of dr.jekyll & mr. hyde these days. it's 0-100 in 2 seconds. there's no reasoning, no rationalizing, no major clue as to what went wrong. the tantrums can go on for hours and i'm not gonna lie it pushes a momma over the edge, across the bridge and down the lane.
ah just take a step back
count to 10
take deep breaths
well guess what this way harder than labor. i mean sure people tell you that there will be sleepless nights and picky eaters, teething etc etc. but this is a whole new level.
so people out there contemplating on having a child don't forget how ugly the toddler stage can be too. it wont last forever but right now 5 minutes is long enough. i dream of a day where we can balance things out a bit, step away from being pushed over the edge and down the lane. this is by far the most challenged i've ever been. he got his stubborness and impatience from me. i'm staring the toddler unrationalized version of me in the face on a daily basis and man oh man.
here's hoping no one looses it in the next 5 minutes
ah just take a step back
count to 10
take deep breaths
well guess what this way harder than labor. i mean sure people tell you that there will be sleepless nights and picky eaters, teething etc etc. but this is a whole new level.
so people out there contemplating on having a child don't forget how ugly the toddler stage can be too. it wont last forever but right now 5 minutes is long enough. i dream of a day where we can balance things out a bit, step away from being pushed over the edge and down the lane. this is by far the most challenged i've ever been. he got his stubborness and impatience from me. i'm staring the toddler unrationalized version of me in the face on a daily basis and man oh man.
here's hoping no one looses it in the next 5 minutes
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
sleepless on 21st ave
clearly the worst/best form of torture is being sleep deprived. oh and it could be listening to really bad music as well. or the nightmare where you think you've shown up somewhere naked and you really have and you can't leave you're stuck there with everyone you've admired, crushed on, been friends or enemies with and you don't have any clothes on.
in our house when it comes to teething babies and sleep it's like going to a greyhound race. there you are running along and that bunny is dangling right in front of your face pretty much making you crazy. so far we haven't been the chosen ones where teething is "no big deal" for our kids or all of a sudden surprise there's a tooth. nope not us. so this is how bed time goes....i'm running along chasing that bunny. i almost catch it AKA fall asleep and it's pulled away. so really the crying begins. or the rabbit is in my mouth. i get the slightest taste of the sweet sweet sleep. you know that just settling in falling asleep thing. yup and then ripped away from me. W wasn't a great sleeper till just before he was 1. basically when he was running around everywhere all day long...then he would crash. it's seems as though his little sister is following in the same footsteps. don't get me wrong they do have their better days. ANYWAYS. thanks to top tooth #2 it's been too many nights in a row of that sweet sleep being ripped away from me. I cannot survive day after day of 2-3hrs of sleep a night. the basics are breaking down. you know. the talking, walking & making sense etc.
on the same note right now they are being amazing. they both ate all their breakfast in record times, they're playing together, watching the backyardigans and no one is crying or screaming.
so off quickly i will go to make a cup of coffee and enjoy this moment before anything changes.
xoxo KK
in our house when it comes to teething babies and sleep it's like going to a greyhound race. there you are running along and that bunny is dangling right in front of your face pretty much making you crazy. so far we haven't been the chosen ones where teething is "no big deal" for our kids or all of a sudden surprise there's a tooth. nope not us. so this is how bed time goes....i'm running along chasing that bunny. i almost catch it AKA fall asleep and it's pulled away. so really the crying begins. or the rabbit is in my mouth. i get the slightest taste of the sweet sweet sleep. you know that just settling in falling asleep thing. yup and then ripped away from me. W wasn't a great sleeper till just before he was 1. basically when he was running around everywhere all day long...then he would crash. it's seems as though his little sister is following in the same footsteps. don't get me wrong they do have their better days. ANYWAYS. thanks to top tooth #2 it's been too many nights in a row of that sweet sleep being ripped away from me. I cannot survive day after day of 2-3hrs of sleep a night. the basics are breaking down. you know. the talking, walking & making sense etc.
on the same note right now they are being amazing. they both ate all their breakfast in record times, they're playing together, watching the backyardigans and no one is crying or screaming.
so off quickly i will go to make a cup of coffee and enjoy this moment before anything changes.
xoxo KK
Thursday, June 14, 2012
What my dreams are made of:
-Peeing alone
-8hrs of straight uninterrupted sleep
-Eating something I cook while it's still warm
-Eating sitting down
-Days without floating pollen
-A cooking fairy
-A laundry fairy
-A house cleaning fairy
-A grocery shopping fairy
-A manicurist on hand since my polish lasts a day
-A skinnier body double
-A mute button
Well a girl can dream
-8hrs of straight uninterrupted sleep
-Eating something I cook while it's still warm
-Eating sitting down
-Days without floating pollen
-A cooking fairy
-A laundry fairy
-A house cleaning fairy
-A grocery shopping fairy
-A manicurist on hand since my polish lasts a day
-A skinnier body double
-A mute button
Well a girl can dream
Monday, May 21, 2012
Remembering to shop my closet...the battle of KK vs. Shorts con't.
It's that time of year again...you know the one where you need to start baring those crazy white legs to the world. And as we can't walk around naked what the heck are we gonna put on them. Having kids changes ones style massively. I mean there's no excuse for the endless days of sweats but there is a time when you need to pull it together a bit.
As summer approaches I've been in a straight up anxiety attack trying to find clothes I like & that fit me. The body does a lot of changing. Almost 30 and two kids...time to work on a few things. I'll save that for another day. Anywho! If I can at all cost I will avoid trying to shop for pants/shorts etc. today after shopping and successfully finding a few new tank tops, a couple of shorter summer dresses and an awesome Maxi dress I was happy bit still had lost a part of the war. No shorts. So after everyone FINALLY fell asleep for a nap it clicked that I had a bag of old summer clothes in the basement. OH YES! 4 pairs of shorts that fit amazingly & a bunch more tops. All in all highly successful!
As summer approaches I've been in a straight up anxiety attack trying to find clothes I like & that fit me. The body does a lot of changing. Almost 30 and two kids...time to work on a few things. I'll save that for another day. Anywho! If I can at all cost I will avoid trying to shop for pants/shorts etc. today after shopping and successfully finding a few new tank tops, a couple of shorter summer dresses and an awesome Maxi dress I was happy bit still had lost a part of the war. No shorts. So after everyone FINALLY fell asleep for a nap it clicked that I had a bag of old summer clothes in the basement. OH YES! 4 pairs of shorts that fit amazingly & a bunch more tops. All in all highly successful!
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